Lost
by Arldetta
Summary: I know crappy title, but it's what came to mind. Anyway, the basic story is how Haku comes to the Spirit World. PLEASE R&R, I'm new to Anime. Be kind. ;)
1. Chapter 1

Title: Lost

Author: Arldetta/Knight_MysAri

Summary: Basically, how Haku came to the Spirit world. 

BIG Author's Note: Well, where to begin? Let's see, I'm not much of an Anime person, only scratched the surface. Although, I'm coming to enjoy more of it now-a-days. Guess that's good. I'm also not one for first person stories, who knows this may change later on, if there's a later on. But I would like to try my hand at it just once, and since this isn't my normal fandom, I figured what the heck, let's experiment. Typically, I'm a Star Wars Fan Fic Writer, so this is really stretching it for me, but I've been itching to try something new, so this is hitting two goals I had in mind. Like I said, since I'm not much of an anime person, I'll probably be making TONS of mistakes. So if something really bothers you, please let me know so I can correct it. Because to be frank I have no clue as to what I'm doing. 

Anyway, read on, tell me what you think. I have ideas for more, but since I have a few things in the works, let me know if you really, really want more and I'll do my best to appease you. In other words, I love writing, but time is a rare commodity so I need lots of incentive. If no one reviews, I guess I'll just have to write this for myself, which will be a lot slower. Hmmm, I think I'll shut up now so you can actually read something better than babbling. Enjoy!

Oh, one more thing ~~~~~~~~~ = flashbacks/memories and _italics_ = thoughts.

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Darkness. 

Floating.

Night.

Cold.

__

Where am I? This doesn't feel right. It didn't feel right. There should be water, flowing, cradling me and I don't feel anything. _Where am I?_ Panic - this feels wrong. I'm stumbling through darkness, groping for something familiar. Finally, my hands graze something distinct. Grass. It's still dark. _Where am I?!_ Frantically, I hold on to the only thing I can touch. The soft blades crumple under my grasp, sticking out from between my fingers. Suddenly, I can feel the ground below me, but it's still dark. Clutching the grass tightly, I squeeze every muscle in my body. I can feel the tension, feel the ground. And then I am aware of a gentle breeze, the smell of Spring's bouquet. Carefully, I open my eyes - I didn't even realize they had been closed. Blinking, I gaze up to see the sun floating high above in a clear blue sky.

"Where am I?" I ask aloud. Curiosity filled me, and my gaze flickered about me trying to take in every detail. Grass was everywhere, I could see that I was near the bottom of a hill. Some statues, hard to distinguish in the overgrown greenery poked up every so often. Sitting up, I turn around trying to figure out how I had gotten here, but behind me is only a dry riverbed. _Riverbed? Home?_ Shaking my head, I'm confused, nothing is making sense. _Why would I think a riverbed my home?_ I realized suddenly, that as much as I was confused about my present, my past was just as perplexing. My memories were hazy, at moments I felt on the verge of touching them again, but they quickly vanish in a fog. 

"What's happened to me? Where am I?" And then a more horrific realization hit me, "Who am I?" Panic again, frantically, I look around me searching desperately for a clue. And for the briefest moment the haze lifts and a name springs from my lips, "Kohaku." _Is that really me?_ I wonder. Closing my eyes, I try to remember. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Some boys are playing near the water's edge. Together, they laugh and splash each other. I can barely make out what they are saying, so I move closer to them. The older boy dunks the younger into the crisp water, and I get a rush of excitement. Gasping the young boy, pops up, "Stop that Nagi!"

"Stop what?"

"You know I don't like going under water."

"Well, you're gonna have to get over it sometime, may as well be now." Nagi moves toward the younger boy again making as if to repeat his actions.

"Stop, or I'll tell mom."

"You're such a cry baby." Nagi falls back in the water. When he emerges, he looks at the boy again, "Too bad we can't leave you here, I'm sure the Kohaku River Spirit would appreciate you as a sacrifice." He laughed mockingly and the boy pouted. "Aw stop. You know I'm kidding."

Then another voice called from the bank, "Boys, come on out, it's time for lunch." Both swim to shore.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

__

Kohaku River Spirit? That's me - I think. But why am I here? Why am I not in my waters? Squeezing my eyes together, I push my way into the fog, looking for an answer. Pain. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The water level has gotten so low, but there has been rain. _I don't understand, where's my water?_ I swim along the remaining bit of stream that once used to be a flowing river. Up ahead I see a group of men and some large machines. I creep closer to hear what they are saying. 

One man shouts over the roar of the engines, "The river's almost gone. We should be able to start building sometime next week."

"Good, I want to get those buildings up soon. Let me know if there are any more hold ups."

"No problem sir." And one of the men walks away.

I'm horrified. _They are taking my river away, my waters, my home. Where am I to go? What am I to do?_ I can feel the unnatural pull in the water around me. I struggle trying to fight against it. "No!" I scream, but my voice goes unheard. "Please." I beg and my pleas fall on deaf ears. I can feel my strength fading with every drop that is taken. My memories flit by as I recall so many faces playing in my element. Happy faces, sad faces, frightened faces and delighted faces. And I know I will never see any faces again. My heart breaks, _I want to live, I want to make people happy._ The water's almost gone. I have no where to run and no way to fight back. With the last of my waning strength, I offer one last appeal, "Please don't take me away." But there is only nothing. 

Nothing.

Darkness.

Floating.

Night.

Cold.

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With a cry born of utter grief, I tear myself away from my rebirth. Into an unknown world I had descended, banished from my home. Lost and dejected, I weep. Unwilling and unwanting to start over, I simply sink back into the soft grass and allow despondency to overtake me. If I cannot be in my waters, then I do not wish to be.

Weakness consumes me, and I tremble from the sorrow. Curling in on myself, I wait, longing for oblivion.

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Well, I hope you liked it. I feel so completely out of my element. :8} But if you enjoyed or thought it was pure crap, let me know. Reviews are great incentive to write! ;)


	2. Chapter 2

Cute Anime Kitty – Thank you very much! I really appreciate it. :)

aya-yahiko – Wow, thanks!! Glad you like it. ;)

saralafox – LOL, Thanks, although I'm still too green. The only recent Anime I know is this movie and Rurouni Kenshin. And as for 'Poor Haku,' well, let's just say I like Angst. Angst is my forte and I have no desire to do anything else. ]:) Thanks again!

Here's the next chap, I didn't intend for it to be this long but it's what came out. I hope you enjoy it. 

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Slowly, consciousness returns and I am aware that I still exist. With every fiber of my being I wished it were not so. A cool breeze caresses my cheek and for a moment I like the feeling of being alive. I can feel another tear slide down my face. I did not see a point - a purpose - to live anymore, yet for some reason, I was not permitted to die. 

Forcing my eyes open I stare up into the sky. Perfect white clouds slowly rolled across the great blue expanse high above. They are so light and delicate, and seem so carefree. I want to be floating among them. So I continue to stare and dream. Dream of floating away. I seem to accept this daydream wholeheartedly, I begin to feel light. Lighter than air. I can't even feel the ground beneath me, just a gentle breeze that cradles me. Unbelieving the fantasy I have created, I reach out with my hand expecting to grab a handful of grass. But when my hand touches nothing, I look around to explain this puzzle. What I find, only confuses me more.

I am floating. Slowly, I manage to turn myself over and stare at the ground below. It is my first glimpse over the hill. _Amazing._ A small village lines a street. Curious, I will myself closer. To my delight, I move to hover above some of the buildings. (_It's funny, I'm sure most would be ecstatic to know they can fly. But for me, it only reminds me of the home I lost. Although the buoyancy is similar, water is so much more comforting.)_ Some steam rises into the air near me, and for the first time, I smell an enticing aroma. Unsure of what it was I was feeling, I back away frightened. 

Suddenly, a weakness takes me. The world fades in and out. _What's happening?_ I can feel the air speed past me as I fall. Before I even hit the ground, darkness engulfs me.

*

Consciousness returns and I giggle at how repetitious my world has become. But it is not a happy sound. Something more caught between my swaying emotions. This time, however, I can feel cool stone beneath me, not the soft grass as before. Then I remember floating and the houses and a smell. _I want….something._ I'm not sure exactly what it is I am looking for. Frustrated, I sit up. When I open my eyes this time, I blink, not trusting in what I see. Darkness is all around, and I realize it must be night time. My eyes adjust and I can see a glow from around the edges of a building. That's when I start to hear noises, clinking and hushed voices. Curious, I pull myself to my feet. It was a harder task than I had thought. Feeling drained, I just stand there leaning for some time.

At last, I manage to place one foot in front of the other to seek out the sources of light and noise. As I turn the corner, I stop. A sight more fascinating than a group of empty buildings greets me. People, at least some look like people, are bustling down the street. Some talking, some silent. A few were running back and forth while others crept along. Mesmerized, I was lost to the confusion. Then I caught a whiff of that smell again, and I wanted it. Carefully, I snuck around to locate whatever it was that was creating such a wonderful smell. I finally tracked it down, a vendor on a corner was cooking some tender morsel. _It smells so good._ I crept ever closer, wanting it. 

A man stood behind the counter, talking with some of the patrons. _What should I do now?_ I want some but how do I get it. Just then, a boisterous being came up beside, almost plowing into me really. Calling out, the being ordered, "I want some food!" To my amazement the man complied and handed the being a plate filled with many things. I was about to call out my own order when I heard the next exchange.

"Here you go," said the man. But his hand did not pull back, instead just stay outstretched waiting for something. When nothing happened, the man cleared his throat. 

Suddenly, the being pulled out some change and placed it in the hand. "Sorry. Here." And their transaction was now complete. _Money? I don't have money._ As if to prove my point, I reach down into my pockets to find nothing. Knowing I have no means to pay for the delectable meal, I slink off back into the shadows. As I walk through the alleys, I cannot stop thinking about the food. My stomach growls and with each step I feel like my life is draining away. _Maybe it's for the best._ I remember that I am homeless. Homeless, poor and alone. _I have never been alone before._ Never alone, there was always something; a fish, an animal, a human. Even insects lived in and near my waters.

My thoughts are interrupted by shouts and laughs. Hesitantly, I make my way to the edge of the alley. I can see some bushes and a fence. Beyond that is a bridge to a large building, unlike any of the others. Beings are walking up to it in the dozens. A small group near the front of the bridge call out to their guests.

"Welcome back. Hello. Come on in. The best treatment for the best prices. Nice seeing you again." They rattled on and on to the passersby. And I realize that without money, I can not do anything. Resigned to my fate, yet again, I fall back into the shadows. Leaning against the wall, my legs give out. I slide down to the ground, pull my legs up to my chest, wrap my arms around and bow my head. Then when all hope is lost, I cry myself to sleep.

I had not even realized I had fallen asleep until I woke again. Whereever I was, it was warm, quite warm. Sighing, I didn't want to open my eyes. I didn't want to face another day. But my hesitation was quickly startled away, "You're waking up. That's good. I was beginning to worry." My eyes popped open to find a bald man with a bushy beard and mustache staring at me. His eyes were covered by tinted glasses, but the thing that surprised me the most was the 6 pairs of arms that moved him about the room. _Room?_

"Where am I?" my dry throat managed to croak out. Looking around me, I see that I am in a large room with a huge boiler at one end. There are drawers making up the great walls and a podium in the middle that looked like an odd desk. 

"You don't know?" His gruff voice asked in concern. I shook my head, still baffled by how I got here and where here was. "You're in Kamikakushi, the Spirit World. This is the Boiler Room to Yubaba's Bath House." I say nothing, because it still means very little to me. But at least I finally had a name to the purgatory I lived in. He seemed to notice my confusion and asked, "Do you know your name?"

"Kohaku, sir."

He continues to watch me and it makes me feel awkward. Averting my gaze to examine my surroundings, I hear him question, "You're not human, are you a Spirit?"

"The Kohaku River Spirit." I answered shyly. Everything seemed so strange to me still, all I wanted was for things to make sense. Cautiously, I look up at him, hoping that maybe he could help me figure out what was happening to me.

"You look very young, what are you doing here?" His voice actually seemed soothing, nonjudgmental just inquisitive.

"I'm not sure. All I know is that I have no where else to go." I wish my response could have been clearer, more informative. But with my lack of knowledge, I can only give vague answers.

"Why would you say that?"

"Because I have no home." He seemed to ponder my words for a moment, one of his hands rubbing his chin. He didn't question me further and I thank him for that. Curious about my surroundings, I ask, "How did I get here?"

"Oh, I was out collecting herbs when I found you in the alley." He down-played my rescue laughing lightly. Then his voice sobered, sounding grave, "You were very weak, I brought you back with me to get you some food."

"Thank you, sir, for your help. But I am afraid I have no money to pay you." I appreciated his concern, but in many ways I wish he hadn't bothered. 

"That's ok," he chuckled. "I wasn't expecting any anyway. And you don't have to call me sir, you can call my Kamaji."

"Thank you, si - Kamaji." I still wanted to disappear into nothing so I figured I should leave before he expends too much energy for my sake. Not wishing to waste anymore of his time, I try rising. "I should leave." I can't even make it all the way up when I begin to feel dizzy. I grab my head and begin to fall back to the ground when I feel hands holding me up.

"You're in no condition to be going anywhere, young man," he ordered. "Now sit down, and I'll bring you some food." He moves off toward a small table nearby and brings back a bowl of food. Thrusting into my hands, he commands, "You need to eat to regain your strength."

Looking down at his gift tears swell in my eyes. I try to keep my voice steady as I say, "I do thank you, sir – Kamaji, but you do not understand. I do not want to regain my strength." Taking short breaths, I can not face him nor could I explain my wishes any further. Apparently, I didn't have to.

"You are way too young to be giving up on life already." Two hands rest on my shoulders, shoulders I didn't even realize were trembling. A single tear broke free, tracing a course along my cheek. Another hand came up to gently wipe it away. "There is so much that you have yet to learn and discover."

"But with no home – no purpose to be, what is the point of going on?" Closing my eyes, the reservoirs release their hold, dripping down my face. 

"Listen child," the hand that cleaned my face cupped my chin, gently prodding me to look at him, "Just because you do not have a place right now to call your home, doesn't mean you have no purpose. There is still a possibility that you have a destiny to fulfil. You mustn't give up now." With nothing to say, I remain silent, wallowing in my misery. He understands his encouraging word have not been able to persuade me. I can see some idea form in his mind, which he reveals to me promptly, "What if I could get you a job here? Yubaba is always looking for help."

Perplexed I stumble over my words, unable to formulate a response to his offer. He smiles at my startled face, "Sure. I can have one of the girls take you to her when she arrives. All you have to do is ask her for a job and don't take 'No' for an answer, no matter what. Give life one more try, and maybe you'll find that you weren't ready to give it up afterall. What do you say?"

"I – I – I guess so," I stutter. Baffled by this generosity, I begin to feel a lightening of my spirit. A grin begins to spread across my face, bowing I say, "Thank you, Kamaji. I will do as you ask as repayment for your care."

"I'm glad to hear it, Kohaku. Yubaba is not to arrive for a few more hours, until then eat and rest. You will need your strength to work here." He moved to another mat and laid down. So I finished the food and waited for Yubaba to arrive.

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Reviews would be nice, if you have a moment. Otherwise I can only speculate on how well I'm doing. Well, until next chapter. Have fun! :D And thanks for reading!! 


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